"...and I just looked out to the gulf, watching the water and hearing the seagulls off in the distance. The few clouds in the sky would pass over the sun, causing the landscape to look rather unattractive, but the sudden darkening of the water gave the gulf unaccustomed dimensions. Some of the outlines of the boats in the water seemed emphasized, but when they passed close to one another, they seemed to be blurred. Here and there, the water would open out, and unsuspected blues and whites would appear. The whole view, the boats, the water, all of it seemed to be organized into a series of shadows silhouetted against one another, so that the nature of it all, suddenly disillusioned, seemed to lose it’s oceanic look, as if that water was only possible in a painting."
That is an excerpt from a short story that I wrote, called "Old Town Pier, This Way", a month or so ago that I am still revising. It is not the focus of this blog, however. I just wanted to see what you, my faithful readers (or reader, if that be the case) thought about it. The real purpose behind this blog tonight is that I wanted to talk to you about Creators and Destroyers.
So, what are Creators and Destroyers you may be asking yourself? First, I need to open up to you and tell you a little about what I believe about the world. I do not believe in "good versus evil". I truly believe that every person is capable of good, and this includes the most retched, vile people there are in this world. I also believe that every saint is capable of evil. So, it becomes difficult for me to identify with what is good and what is evil.
I have come to the belief that there are Creators and Destroyers. A Creator is a person who strives to make a better world for those around them and for those that will come after. This can be as simple as giving your spare change to a homeless person off the exit ramp of 169 and 71st street in Tulsa, Oklahoma, or it can be as difficult as you try to pursue what you truly want out of life, instead of acquiescing to the pressures of the gods. A Destroyer is the opposite, and it can be so much easier to be one than a Creator. How easy is it for us to ignore those that are suffering around us, and continue our lives in its utter redundancy? How easy is it for us to give up our dreams of being writers, painters, dancers, dreamers, philanthropists for the fourteen-dollar an hour job? Pretty damn easy.
You see, it is so much easier to be Destroyers. We were all once dreamers. We all wanted our lives to mean something; to make an impact in the world, but somewhere along the line, we lost sight of that and decided to fall in line to the whims of the gods. We lose our soul. We lose our inner stars, and we forget what happens to stars that fade out. They simply do not go away. They turn into a vacuous black hole, sucking all light around it into its inescapable pull. We drag others down with us. We turn into Destroyers.
To be Creators is terrifying. We will face the pessimism of the gods, their laughter, they will cringe at us, but when we start becoming Creators they will grow silent, and they will watch as we become something much bigger than ourselves. They will see love and hope spread as if it was a wildfire, and they will have adjust to the ways that we have dictated.
So, where is this all leading to? I want you to become a Creator. I want you to remember your dreams of being a writer, a dancer, a painter, or just about anything you wished for yourself so long ago, and remember that fire you had in your stomach. Even if that fire is gone, and nothing is left but a spark, bury that spark deep within yourself, somewhere where no one can touch it; whether it be your critics, your fears, the Destroyers, or even the gods. Never let that spark go.
P.S. Sorry about the timing in between this blog and the last. I have been super busy with working and finding a new apartment, but I promise more blogs on a more consistent basis.
P.S.S. I have been listening to a few new bands you need to check out. The Fleet Foxes and The Smiths are slowly changing my life, and I suggest you give them a listen.
"My name is Kyle Hays. Vonnegut lives in my pantry, and I drink wine on Thursdays."
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